


Was it just another love affair?

by Mary_the_gardener



Series: Advent songfics challenge 2019 [3]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Insomnia, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 15:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21658189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_the_gardener/pseuds/Mary_the_gardener
Summary: Where those words coming only out of lust? Where they not special in any way? Was it just what he says every time, to everyone?
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Series: Advent songfics challenge 2019 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558414
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Was it just another love affair?

**Author's Note:**

> This time, I recommend the [ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U0PpAXIAUA) as soundtrack for the reading. Enjoy!
> 
> Inspired to: Was it just another love affair? - Eurythmics

The sheets are all rumpled, the room is silent, darkness fought only by the light coming from the lit-up screen. He moves through the various messaging apps, for the umpteenth time. Like there could be something since he last checked ten minutes ago. What time is it even down there?

The rhythmic slapping of skin on skin echoes in his ears, like the sound of waves crashing on the shore. Distant.

Time goes by, and he's always back at staring into the void, the ceiling dissolved by the shadows of the night. What time is it even, now? How long till dawn? How longer will he have to keep turning to and fro, never finding peace of mind? Never being able to accept the present, this truth, their truth. Broken truth, ugly truth. Squeezing his eyes not to sleep but only in a vain hope another body will be laying next to him the moment he opens them up again.  
But it's helpless, and he knows there's no if that would have made it work.

_Querido, te amo, te amo, sì te amo_

Where those words coming only out of lust? Where they not special in any way? Was it just what he says every time, to everyone?

No one can see him, and, as weird as it may seem, that's one more reason for fighting back the tears. He won't see him tomorrow, nor the next week. He won't be making him laugh anymore. They won't be helping each other out anymore. Every failed jump, every fall, every wobbly spin, will burn just with its bare intensity, no more warm hands to alleviate the frustration.

It was just one time. One time it happened. And he still doesn't know whether blessing or cursing that night. Because he knows it will never come back, but how can he forgo those blissful moments, that brief space in time where they were finally united. He can still feel it, the sensation of being complete, of belonging. The explosion of colours behind his tightly shut eyelids, the endless fall while held into his arms.

The little "I love you, Javi" that escaped through his swollen lips.


End file.
